You may have heard one or both of the following: “In the event oxygen is needed, put on your own mask before any others,” the flight attendant states just before takeoff. Or, you may have heard “charity starts at home”. The underlying meaning: you’ll be no help to those in need if you neglect yourself to the point of burnout.
This is a message we share with Barbara A. Given, PhD, R. N. Dr. Given has been studying caregivers for the past seventeen years. We would also like to send this message to the millions of men and women caring for aging or other ailing loved ones. All care giving environments are unique. You may be caring for elderly parents, aging relatives, or nursing a spouse undergoing cancer treatment.
The term caregiver refers to anyone who provides assistance to someone else who needs it to maintain an optimal level of independence. How do we as caregivers keep up a balanced life through the care giving roles and the additional roles we have for life (husband, wife, children, pets, social, and community)? In our practice we have found the most critical impact of care giving is that the caregiver’s personal life is compromised. When they take on any care giving we have found that caregivers forfeit their own exercise, leisure time; and, most of all personal time. This personal time could be as simple as the time to recharge, build up resources, or renew spiritual connectedness.
The National Alliance for Care giving estimates that 22-25 million Americans care for an aging or disabled relative. According to the National Council on the Aging (NCOA), about 80% of those are women. According to the NCOA, the profile of the average caregiver is a 57-year-old married woman with children still at home. The expectation that the Caregiver will be a woman is slowly changing.
In our own work we have confirmed that there is a growing number of male caregivers and care giving by grand children. The parents have outlived their immediate children, leaving the grandchildren or nieces and nephews to fill the care giving role. Regardless of the gender of the caregiver, what are the resources available to assist in the daily tasks or in the planning of the future to come?
Within many states the following services exist, check your local listings:
Geriatric Care Managers
Geriatric Care Managers are professionals who specializes in assisting seniors and their families with assessing needs, developing a plan of care, and arranging for community services to meet their needs and their budget. They continually monitor the plan over time and adjust the services according to changes in level of care.
Adult Day Care Centers
Community based group programs designed to meet the needs of functionally and/or cognitively impaired adults. Adult day centers provide a caring, home-like setting for individuals who, for their own safety and well-being cannot be home without supervision. Adult day centers offer protected settings which are usually open five days a week during business hours, including a mixture of health, social and support services. Specialized programs for those with Alzheimer's disease or related disorders also exist.
In Home Care Services
These are organizations that offer service that comprise many of the activities of daily living (ADLs) such as, arranging medical appointments, maintaining a personal calendar, letter writing, exercise assistance, arranging entertainment, medication reminders, assistance with bathing and grooming, and driving to church services. Fees vary with the number of daily living skills required and the number of days per week a care assistant is required to be onsite.
Elder Life Coaches
These are independent life coaches, certified by various national coaching organizations, specifically coaching the caregiver through the emotionally charged transition period of care giving, especially with those Elders that are moving into assisted living communities. Unlike therapy, coaching leads the caregiver to examine alternatives without ‘fixing’ the emotional past of their relationship with the Elder. Many coaches provide in person coaching as well as over the phone coaching. Search within the local community or through the Web of the International Coaching Federation.
Area Agency on Aging (AAA)
Created by the federal Older Americans Act, AAAs represent a nationwide network of over 600 program sites. They are the focal point for aging concerns at the community level. Services include information and referral, nutrition, employment, in-home services, counseling, legal services, and day health care with an emphasis on ease of access.
Para transit Services
Provides specialized transportation (e.g., wheel chair accessible van or mini-bus) for seniors and/or people with disabilities. Services may offer transportation to senior centers, medical care, shopping malls, or medical appointments.
Assisted Living Facilities (ALF)
A residential apartment complex servicing older adults by providing built-in care services, including beauty salons, physical therapists, tour activities, and 24-hour on-call assistance. These residential settings maximize independence, but do not provide skilled nursing care. Most ALFs do not accept public financing and rely on private pay from residents or their families.
Skilled Nursing Facility (SNF)
A residential care setting offering a protective, therapeutic environment for individuals requiring rehabilitative care or can no longer live independently because of chronic physical or mental condition requiring 24 hour skilled nursing care. SNFs must be licensed by the state and are subject to certain state and federal regulations.
We don’t know how long we will live, but the capacity for change is a vital resilience skill. In this specific time of a life’s journey, there is help available for you or someone you love, to honor themselves, celebrate their depth of wisdom, and continue to reach the full dimension of the gifts yet to be given. Explore all your options.
Resources
As coaching in aging is am emerging field, it is our recommendation that you select a coach that is ‘certified’ in the coaching profession. After all, you wouldn’t trust your health to a doctor that was not trained and board certified in the medical practices of the American Medical Association (AMA). Coaches come from all backgrounds, from the corporate world, the health & wellness industries, even therapy and social work. To find a certified coach and review their background & training, use the Web resources of the International Coach Federation (ICF),
http://www.coachfederation.org/ICF/. The ICF is the is the largest worldwide resource for business and personal coaches, and the source for those who are seeking a coach. The ICF is a nonprofit, individual membership organization formed by professionals worldwide and is the governing body for coach ethics and practices.
Also, you may find resources within the National Association of State Units on Aging,
http://www.nasua.org/SUAMembers.cfm#tx. The mission of the association is to advance social, health, and economic policies responsive to the needs of a diverse aging population; and, to enhance the capacity of its membership to promote the rights, dignity and independence of, the current and future generations of older persons, and their families.
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Bradley Ann Morgan---Walks Beside Coaching & Consulting
"Conversations at the Core"
http://www.walksbesidecoaching.com
